FB Reality

Some things are so funny because they are so true.

Facebooking. It's become a verb. If it were put into the dictionary it would probably look something like this:

facebook: stalking

It's what we do these days. "Oh i'm just checking my fb" (a sentance that most people could say about three times a day). It has taken over many lives and im sure at least 5, 000 people in Rexburg alone would feel actual withdrawal feelings if for some reason facebook was off limits for a week.

Im not gonna lie, I love it. I have it on my phone and checking all my friend's recent status changes is just one quick click away! It is a great way to keep in touch with family, friends, and even keep tabs on those enemies we love to stalk.

But I'm not blogging about how amazing fb is or about my own addiction to the site, I'm here to say that Facebook ruins relationships. Yeah...seriously, it really does. Let me give you a couple examples that happen all across the fb world, probably about 234 times daily, and have actually happened to me personally, or someone I know well.


ex 1:

So you fall in love. You are officially an item on facebook and everything. one day you see that your significant other has some random comment on their wall about some inside joke/past situation with this person and then you get in a fight about trust and this continues everytime someone writes on their wall that you dont know. it escalates to an out of control level...and finally you are single once again. if facebook was never created, you probably would have gotten married...

ex 2:

So you have a crush on someone. So, naturally, you check out their fb page daily (maybe more than once..depending on the severity of the crush) so one night your checking out their page and you notice some comment on their wall and you get ragey jealous and think to yourself (and sometimes outloud) "who is that writing on their wall" you want to know how they know each other, if they made out lately or something, and if there's any way you can get them to die.

ex 3:

You have a fresh and new relationship...fragile, yet important. Suddenly you are defending yourself because they think you are with other people because you're tagged in pictures/have friends of the opposite sex. The budding, wonderful relationhip ends, because assuming makes the ass out of everyone.

ex 4:

You know so much about the person from stalking them on facebook that you actually creep them out in real life and any relationship that you would have had cannot happen because you know about the trip they took to hawaii two years ago and the dinner they ate in cape cod at that restaurant that had that "weird" waitress.


advice:
if you get a girlfriend/boyfriend, you may want to sit down, go through your entire list of friends and explain anything about the people that may just happen to write on your wall/tag a picture of you. its the only way to keep the love alive.


HAPPY STALKING!

Prince Edward

So I work at the apartment complex I live at and today I'm in the office and I open the drawer that has all the lost and found it in to see if there's anything cool...and I came across a CD entitled, "Sometimes I want to be having sex right now!" Seriously it's called that, so I popped it in and the sweet sounds of this particular girl's fantasies come blaring across my speakers and who else do I think about but....Edward.

Yep, I'm about to blog about Edward Cullen.

I love this topic of conversation because most guys I know roll their eyes and get kinda weirded out that us girls are insanely obsessed with this "fictional character"..and they always ask why and I dont know if there is really just one answer...but I think I pinpointed it down to one foundational quality. Edward Cullen is a man of noble chivalry. He is generous with his time (always with her), a protector against all danger, he calls her when he says he will, he takes her out on dates, I'm sure he opens doors, gives her his coat if she's cold, comes over at 3am when she just can't sleep, makes her breakfast in bed, walks her to class, and he probably already knows what to get her for Christmas...But most of all he respects Bella. He doesn't ask her to do anything that would jeapordize her standards or conflict with her own ethics. He truly thinks she is a precious blessing in his life and doesn't want to ever lose her. ahhh the chivalrous prince!! This is all us girls want...a little door opening, puddle covering, and hand holding.

I think Stephenie Meyer really wanted to awaken a dead quality that most girls have had to cross off her list of "things she wants in a boyfriend". Chivalry is now undead. Thanks Edward!

baby mama DRAMA

So one of my friends recently met a guy at NASCAR (mistake #1, she knows) and they hit it off talking or whatever. They emailed a few times...and then she asked a few questions in an attempt to get to know him better...and below is his email response.


“My story…
Well, I have a 2 ½ year old and I live with her momma.

But….We do not live as a couple, we are only together to provide a good environment for our daughter.

I would love to separate, but not seeing my kid everyday would drive me nuts, so we are hanging on as long as we can.

It is kinda something I wanted to explain in person to you, but that never happened, maybe it would have had I told you? I dunno.

So I am not in the market for anything long term, I was hoping we could have had a little side thing. You told me you just got out of a relationship and didn’t want anything, so I figured it would work out great.

In a nutshell that’s my story.

I mean...does it get an better than that???Lesson learned: don't respond to guys who try to pick you up at NASCAR as they probably still live with their baby's momma.

FRIENDS

this is a tribute to the best of them.





Ally pork chop, late night chat time, sisters.
Josie the last four years, the mission, best friends.
Mom Tina Turner, late nights watching HGTV, and hoping I'm like you when I grow up.
Dad being scared during E.T, taking me to college, and always being your little girl.
Marion dells, running to G's, and the rest of college.
Adam D&C, turtles/humility, first love.
Alissa the past.
Cate our 208, eating in general, and being my little sister.
Stephanie G's, the hotel, and laughing really hard all the time.
Craig seven week break, FO MINUTES, and Disneyland.
Matt loving DP, growing up and being poor teachers, I just admire you.
Mike the ultimate shoulder to lean on, being my favorite student, and being a brother to me.
Ashley living together, our talks til 2am, and forever friends.
Alan after school rituals, nigga beat box, and growing up.




im just really lucky :)

This is all I want to say/all I want:

"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat that kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find the right person for a kiss like that, it's everything."

--Grey's Anatomy

ahhh life

So the other day I was thinking about things that freaking suck. Like tipping a waitress that doesnt deserve it, just so you don't look cheap...or late fees for a movie you rented that you never had time to watch...or having no clue how to use a semi-colon..is semicolon one word or two? hmmm, I think that's interesting that I don't know that because I'm going to be teaching 8 year olds how to survive life, nice. But seriously some stuff about growing up just sucks (oh no im gonna be emo...) but really. Remember when you were little and you would cry and be so mad you weren't 25 with your own life in some random city...all because your dad wouldn't give you money for the ice cream man?! Maybe that's just me but I was like, "I'll show him..when I have my own $5." Like I even knew what that meant...or how about when your alarm clock goes off and it's only Tuesday and you're already worn out? Or putting a smile on when your friend calls to talk about her boyfriend/girlfriend for an hour and a half when you haven't gone on a date in months...? I mean, I definitely wasn't thinking about those kind of things when I was seven and just wanted to be independent...THE PARENTALS: THEY WERE RIGHT! They told us we wouldn't want to be grown up when we were and man did they nail that one! I wish there was a guide to this whole growing up stuff...its kinda unfair they just throw us in here and tell us to get a job, find some sucker who decides forever could be alright with you and three annoying kids, take care of yourself and be responsible...just Grow Up! In the words of the greatest show ever created (Grey's Anatomy) "We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?" Well i dont really know because I still feel like im 12 BUT I dont want to be too negative, I have a great life. Great friends and a family that is always there...especially when I'm 23 and still don't have my own 5 bucks...I'm growing up, right?!

I'm nervous

I first wanted to explain why I chose "shenanigan's" as my title. When I started my college career (quite awhile ago) I went to a school in Virginia. Every month this extremely interesting group of people got together and called themselves a comedy club. They would perform on campus and sometimes in town, which i thought was pretty weird in general because the only people that actually lived in town where people that had no teeth and could not hear which i'm guessing was just the result of working in the local factory/underground tunnel that nobody ever explained to me...anyways, this comedy club was probably my favorite thing about that year in VA, you might even call it my guilty pleasure. I actually am nervous posting this because maybe one day by best friend, Josie, will read this and wonder what the heck I was doing being obsessed with them. In the words of a great classic movie--Mean Girls--associating with the "Shenanigan's" as they called themselves was probably "social suicide" just like joining Mathletes would be for Cady (the extremely hot and slutty Lindsay Lohan). But nonetheless, there I was, laughing aloud but skimming my eyes around the room to make sure my friends and boyfriend didn't see me enjoying something so extremely "lame". So to make a long obsession short, ever since then one of my favorite secret words has been Shenanigan's. It perfectly describes life: "a prank".



So I work at a hotel in Rexburg, although there aren't that many to choose from, I'm not going to name it--to keep everyone in this entry (the sacred first entry) identities a secret. When I told one of the head maintenance guys that I was making a blog he immediately replied straight faced with: "you should talk about how sexy everyone here is". I'm almost 100% sure that nobody that works here is sexy, unless, of course you count the rather round breakfast girl that sweats more water on an hourly basis than Michael Phelps has tread in his life...but I think he was serious so let's dive in:

sexy is...

• pitting out in your work shirt everyday because of the lack of air conditioning
• getting waffle mix all over you because the breakfast girl actually lacks the ability to remember she needs to refill it
• changing unlined and extremely wet and sticky trashcans behind the front desk (what the freak are they throwing away in there?)
• having your feet actually stick to the floor in the kitchen
• dodging the guy from the restaurant next door when he comes over to chat about the occupancy while undressing you with his eyes (guys too..)
• listening to the waffle machine beep so many times that you actually lose your sexy and yell at an eighty five year old grandma that is legally blind.
• smelling the breakfast girl when she asks you if she smells O.K. today...
• telling people that the water heater is having some "issues" so that's why their shower was cold
• keeping it a secret that we actually don't have a water heater
• and leaving smelling like 70's musk and chlorine for the rest of the day from the strategically placed pool in the lobby which just gives the hotel a "tropical" feel, as the online reviews say

yeah we're sexy.