Call me Julia

Here she is. The book I've decided to get. I will be working my way through this book. It'll take years I'm sure! But I'm going to master the art of cooking! It's time.

Shoot for the stars my friends.

my friends know im emo. alright, i really am. im that one person crying when the winner gets selected for Idol, or the lone ranger in the theater during Transformers who's crying when shia finally tells megan fox he loves her. (but seriously that was the best "i love you" ever.) im like Peyton from One Tree Hill but with no real reason to be. i mean my mom is still alive and my dad doesnt travel the sea on boat. no wonder i always found her annoying....shes my emotional twin....

so tonight my friend and i went to dinner. hes real into CIA stuff, ya know? like the kind where you kill the bad guy with a sniper gun from the top of some building. and as we were talking about that i realized that he was made to be into that and I was made to be emotional, and i have to embrace that i have always been this way. it has it's pros for sure...like growing up if i wanted something BAM, tears. If i want something now, BAM, tears. haha, not really but the emotional play up can come into handy. i just need to learn how to hone this power in better when dealing with the boys. i'm "shady" as they say, and its probably because i cant say "i like you" which could be extremely confusing considering my dating track record. i just come home and get my pink spiral with hearts all over it out and write about how i like how they make fun of my loud somewhat annoying laugh, or how my heart is going to burst one day because they make me happy. i wish i could SAY it though. that'd be sweet. but just like my friend is gonna have to practice shooting at targets until he shoots the terrorist in real life, i'll have to practice shooting my feelings onto the boys until i finally meet the one who doesnt need me to say it exactly as he probably will deserve it.

Mulling it over

ew im eating this bagel sandwich and it is just getting everywhere.

anyway, its Thursday. Big Day around the office....not. My boss is about to have her baby and im supposed to be replacing burnt out light bulbs this very minute. I'm a very busy woman. according to my work my time is almost free to them. sure does make me feel great about myself.

so the last few days i've been thinking a few things...

like about how annoying it is that people don't say how they truly feel. maybe its to spare someone's feelings, or maybe it's because they are afraid of what will change. recently, i told a person that i would not talk to him anymore. this has been tried before and failed everytime. but only because i was never expressing to him how i truly felt. finally i did it! i told him in the nicest way possible that he sucks and i dont need it. and ya know, the truth has set me free! i wish more people would try the truth vest on. it looks great!

i've also been thinking about relationships. maybe because i'm lonely here in rexburg and all my friends are doing more fun things at home with their families/friends and i miss them. i am so solidily sure that happiness is only happiness when shared. the things that matter in life are not things. they are people. i love my people. i miss them!

i've also been thinking about regret. its a real thing ya know? there are so many decisions that i've made that have led me to where i am and i'm so grateful for them. but there are a couple that i wish i could take back and choose something else. or more importantly, someone else. luckily i have hope for the future. :)

im sorry this isnt funny. i promise i'll come up with something yall can laugh at soon!

--all my love from idaho.

lame comeback

alright, so after a long reprieve of me being so absent, i'm going to have to blog something great. hmmm. one thing i do want to mention is the blog nieniedialogues.blogspot.com. SO good, so tragic, so hopeful. Stephanie is such a strong person and I look up to her so much. its worth a glance, or a few hours of reading, crying, and wanting to be a better person in return. love her :)

so school is rough when youre about to be done. i cant believe my college experience is almost over. NUTS! I mean on one hand i've been going to school for too long, and on the other, I am terrified to grow up and try and convince some principal somewhere that i can teach those eight year olds all the things they need to know to go on to the next grade. luckily im the kind of person that worries about bridges when its time to cross them, so its not making me too anxious...even though it probably should.

my family is moving to a city four hours from where i grew up. bittersweet! itll be good. right? its just gonna be so weird going "home".

this is not even interesting! oh well. here are a couple summer break highlights so far:

The Drive to Texas...killing birds, no AC, getting lost in the worst state ever, and finally making it a total of 37 hours later.

Texas...i love my family.

Utah. I love Josie. I love Cafe Rio. I love Courtney. I love attractive boys.

Washington in one week! :)

okay, im done.

I'm Back...

whoa five months is a long time. I got busy. And now i'm un-busy. But i have no new ideas on what to blog about. ill come up with something :)